out of anger.

hello everyone.

do feel free to skip this post, it's a rant. i just want ONE specific person to read this. the dear person who inspired me to write this post.

few days ago, someone bad-mouthed me. thank you very much , i appreciate that cos now you give me something to rant about in my blog -.-

anyway this lovely person said.

"wtf does j-mee now about a hard life......"

anyway the person said a lot more but i'll just elaborate on this particular statement now cos i've got limited time.


part 2.
"..... always come back got so much attention from friends and family. what she want also her dad will definitely give her lah. she's always screaming around making noise seeking attention and people are actually stupid enough to fall for her attention seeking".

i have a lot of friends?

do you even know how many nights i spent crying by myself under my blanket because i felt so lonely?
do you know how many meals i had to eat alone?
how many movies i had to watch by myself?
how many classes i had to go to without opening my mouth at all?
do you even know how it feels?
do you know how it feels to get no attention?

well i'm sorry if when i go back home to Malaysia i may seem like an attention seeker to you cos well, I ACTUALLY KINDA AM. I ADMITTED IT, YOU HAPPY?

i've spent so much time being alone so maybe it's nice for me to get some attention when i'm back home. ok?

this one thing i'm sure about.
you have a lot of friends. my friends are constantly praising you. how pretty you are, how popular you are, the different ways different guys would try to kao you.

you get the attention without even trying.

you ask me what do I know about pressure?
i'll ask you.

what do you know about being alone?

maybe you do have lonely times. the same way i have pressuring times too.

but seriously.

what you said about me was very very very very hurtful.
it bothers me alot.

oh, and the part where you said my DAD GIVES ME EVERYTHING I WANT?
go die please.
just think about it before you die cos it's something i want you to reconsider before you die.

TO MY FRIENDS OUT THERE DON'T BE OFFENDED, I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU GUYS ARE LOUSY FRIENDS.

seriously, it's not your fault. im 4000km away from home, i don't expect everyone's lives to stop just because mine sucks.

i'm alone, i'm lonely, i don't have the kind of friends i use to. it makes me jealous to see my ex classmates being so close to each other because they've been together as a class for years already.

i could've been there. but i wasn't.



will post again when i'm free about the other things this lovely person just had to say about me (if i feel like it).